Calamity Shazaam in the Kitchen

Oh my gawd, I bought another frackin' gadget for the kitchen. It all started with the Swinish Flu yesterday and ended with me buying a wok AND a rice cooker. I know, I know, A RICE COOKER. It's just that with all this warm weather all I want is rice and stir-fry. And between yesterday and today I have been feeling like garbage so all I really want is just the rice part. Lots and lots of the rice part. So after work today I drove my sorry self down to Kam Man in Quincy and picked up a few items. I ended up at home with a gorgeous new wok for eight bucks, a rice cooker, and a heap of groceries - including about a dozen shrimp for two bucks. After getting the rice going, I fixed up the wok. I marinated the shrimp in a slightly spicy Thai curry concoction and then cooked them in the wok. OK firstly the wok is seriously pretty and I am going to see how much I can cook in it. And secondly I didn't expect it to get as hot as it did and the noise it made when the shrimp hit the hot...

I am feeling a bit swinish, sad but true. Not to say that I in fact have the Swine Flu, it's just that right now I am feeling a bit piggy right now. I started feeling peculiar this afternoon, and by the time I got home this afternoon I was officially out of sorts . My legs feel sausagy in my pants, from my ankles up. I can't bear the idea of putting on shoes or sock, I feel like I have asthma, and I feel totally nauseous. Which frankly is TORTURE for someone like me. I had a few baked beans for dinner because it was the only thing I thought I could eat. And I have some Jello chilling in the fridge. Truth is though that what I really want right now is a three layer chocolate cake with ganache frosting and a gallon of cold milk. See what I mean? It's the Swinish Flu.

Did you know that Asian markets sell bags of frozen "custard apples" for wikked cheap? Apparently you just peel them and eat them. I am so curious.... Do you see where this is going?

Every now and then I lose my mind at the supermarket and buy all sorts of things that I either have no idea what it is, or I don't know how to eat it. One time it was a giant package of frozen mango paste. Another time I went crazy in the spice aisle at Super 88. This time it was a passionfruit. The sign at the market said "Best eaten when wrinkled". So I left the thing on the counter for awhile. I thought I would eat it at Easter. And then I figured I would get around to Googling it to see what I was supposed to do with it. Then it rolled behind the mixer ( out of sight, out of mind - right? ). Which is where I found it today, sort of accidentally, and ate it. To be honest, I don't really even like passionfruit flavor, like juice or candy. I love the name, but frankly it is a sort of revolting little fruit. It starts off shiny and gorgeously deep plum colored before shriveling up into a lightweight cardboardy feeling thing that really ought to be thrown out but inst...

As promised, photos! First let me just say that yes, I ALWAYS have an alcoholic beverage of some sort when I am baking. It helps me be a better baker. Better everything really. But it explains the beer can in every photo. Secondly let me just say that I made an amazing buttercream, the hot sugar syrup whipped into egg whites kind, not realizing until the very fluffy end that I had used salted butter. Woof! I refused to throw it out and decided that the solution was to fit the cake to the frosting so instead of making a light sponge roll in the shape of a birch log, I decided on an improvised hazelnut dacquoise. Which actually was pretty easy. I piped out four slabs of hazelnut meringue, then layered it with the buttercream that I magically transformed into chocolate-hazelnut buttercream. Yes, looks just like poop huh. Layer of buttercream. Layer of meringue. Repeat. Then cover the whole thing with a skim coat of buttercream. Refrigerate overnight and then in the morning coat the who...

First of all: how bad do you think it is to wash a Claritin down with beer? Second of all: I am loving me a little Easter baking. I will post photos later, but right now I have a lamb cake in the oven and I am about to make some lemon curd. The plan is to make a lamb cake (pound cake in a lamb shaped mold), lemon tarts with poached kumquat slices & fresh fruit, and a hazelnut dacquoise. I will post the results when I am done.