Bubba Gump Baker
I was reading one of my favorite food blogs ever, Food on the Food, written by the hilarious Tammy D and she posted about her five minutes of tv fame.
Which of course I had to watch to see if her own self-critique was even a little true (it wasn't).
However I found myself empathizing with her because this one time, at band camp... No, no wait I am kidding! But for real there was this one time I was on Chronicle when they did a feature on the bakery where I worked and to my horror they spliced together all the mentions I made of the kinds of cookies we produced. Which made me sound like Bubba Gump. You know, the shrimp guy from Forrest Gump who had the line that went something like this:
"Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
Only in my case it went more like this:
INTERVIEWER: So, what kinds of cookies do you turn out in a typical day?
ME: Uh well lessee we have... chocolatechipchocolatechocolatechipoatmealcranberrywhitechocolatechip
oatmealraisinsugarcookiepeanutbuttergingerbreadalmondmacaroons
And so on for a good minute. If one minute doesn't seem like a long time to you, try reciting all the kinds of cookies you can think of for that whole one minute. It's harder than you think.
End result was that not only did I sound completely simple minded, but then the camera added 27 pounds.
So Tammy, believe me when I say that it could have been much, much worse.
Which of course I had to watch to see if her own self-critique was even a little true (it wasn't).
However I found myself empathizing with her because this one time, at band camp... No, no wait I am kidding! But for real there was this one time I was on Chronicle when they did a feature on the bakery where I worked and to my horror they spliced together all the mentions I made of the kinds of cookies we produced. Which made me sound like Bubba Gump. You know, the shrimp guy from Forrest Gump who had the line that went something like this:
"Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
Only in my case it went more like this:
INTERVIEWER: So, what kinds of cookies do you turn out in a typical day?
ME: Uh well lessee we have... chocolatechipchocolatechocolatechipoatmealcranberrywhitechocolatechip
oatmealraisinsugarcookiepeanutbuttergingerbreadalmondmacaroons
And so on for a good minute. If one minute doesn't seem like a long time to you, try reciting all the kinds of cookies you can think of for that whole one minute. It's harder than you think.
End result was that not only did I sound completely simple minded, but then the camera added 27 pounds.
So Tammy, believe me when I say that it could have been much, much worse.
Comments
I no longer give interviews. ;)