Calamity Shazaam in the Kitchen

I dunno what is wrong with me this weekend. I was a total flump from Friday night to Sunday night. It could be PMS, exacerbated by being sort of dumped , I think. And ordinarily I would make a pan of Moet's Famous F*cking Delicious Super Chocolate Brownies and eat them directly out of the pan. Which usually sorts me right out. Except for that weirdly I don't even have a sweet tooth right now. Well, that might not be true if someone kindly gave me a pint of Phish Phood and a spoon. Who am I kidding? I don't really need a spoon. And the other thing is that lately I have been seriously craving Granny Smith apples & chunky peanut butter. I have had one every day for over a week now. Udge..... I need to snap outta this!

I really haven't been up to much in the kitchen lately. I am trying very hard to be very good and not stuff my face with complete crap. Last week I made a black bean, celery, carrot type soup-stew for work lunch. Today I made some whole wheat pasta with a broccoli, tomato, and Steak Smart Strips to take with me every day. Sometimes I mix it up with some of the homemade chole that my roommate's Ma sends up from Ohio. Ma is originally from Lucknow in Uttar Pradesh and her chole is outta control. The first time Roomie brought back chole I ate most of it, but denied it completely. The problem is that Roomie is far too generous and nice to live with a food scavenger like myself. The other problem is that her Ma makes chole from crack. So of course after the first bite, I had to keep sneaking forkful after forkful until it was all gone :( Basically chole is chickpeas with tomatoes, onions, cilantro, and spices. And the way Ma makes it, it is SPICY but not in the tastebud searing way...

I've been a guest over on Boston Food and Whine this week and let me tell you it is kind of nice to play in someone else's backyard for a few days! If you are a fan of the treacly sweet goodness of Ho-Ho-Hostess cakes, check out today's post: YEAH CLICK HERE I'll be back next week.

I will be out of my kitchen blog until later this week. Because I am busy making a mess over in Tammy's kitchen blog: BOSTON FOOD AND WHINE Yep. I am one of several who are guest-blogging for her while she is on holiday. I guess she didn't read my WHOLE blog, or she never woulda asked me! Well, I will be on my best behavior the entire time and yes Mom, I will pick up after myself.

I love eggplant. I love the word "eggplant", I like the dark purple color and the light heft of a ripe one, and the way they curve so delicately. I love that they have a weird soft-firm texture, and that the plant has pretty blooms, and that they are so versatile. I love baba ganoosh. I especially love slicing an eggplant in thin rounds, brushing them with olive oil, garlic, chili, salt, and pepper and then shoving them under the broiler until crispy. I LOVE a good eggplant parm. I love eggplant on pizza. What I hate about eggplant is that I worry it might kill me. Every time I eat eggplant, the first bite makes me instantly want to vomit. And sometimes it give me a little touch of asthma. As long as I can choke down that first bite or two I am good. Seriously. This is the only time I ignore my rule about not eating things that make me sick.

Wednesday is sort of my least favorite day of the week. Sometimes I don't mind them, but mostly by Wednesday I am wondering one of two things: Huh? Is today Tuesday? or Ugh! It's not Thursday? There is no good tv on. I don't really want to go out. And the Evil Twin is away for a week in Aruba sunning her pale self and drinking fancy fruity drinks with umbrellas by the pool. So I am going to clean out my fridge because it is starting to smell a little funky and I can't fit any more boxes of Arm & Hammer baking soda in it. I also have a ginormous black cake I have to re-wrap, some ginger in syrup I have to pry up from the shelf, and a motley assortment of containers that well I have no idea what they are containing. Although just thinking about it is giving me a pain. Perhaps I will just make a little salad first and then see what happens. If I can find some batteries for my camera, I will take pictures.

Seriously every time I eat at the Franklin Cafe I leave feeling like I just had the most amazing sex ever. Evil Twin and I went for dinner on the spur of the moment and our default restaurant of choice when we are not broke is definitely the Franklin. We started with the pan-smoked mussels with clarified butter. I think that they salt the mussels a little with a salt & crack mixture to make them extra delicious. Plus two glasses of Oyster Bay Sauvignon which immediately hit the spot. I had the seared local cod with sweet pea risotto and Evil Twin had the steak frites. And then I had most of her frites and to boot I smeared them with the roquefort butter that came with the steak. Because wine makes me forget all about Weight Watchers.... You know what? I am a dreadful glutton who completely deserves to have absurdly high cholesterol. Anyway, we then both ordered a second glass of the Oyster Bay and because our waiter had the retentive memory of a guppy, we got something completely ...

So this week has been a doozy. Sort of. On Monday I had a growth removed from my lady parts. Friday I found out that it wasn't a baby. Phew! Nor was it cancer . WHOO HOOOO!!!!!! Is all I can say. But then I got the fade from a boy I liked. * sigh * The universe giveth, and taketh I guess huh. And work was bleh. I love my job, but it pays peanuts. And there's this difficult co-worker, who is a good person, but who loves to create lots of useless busy-work and drama. It can suck the life out of a person really. There was some other stuff too. Oh yeah, PMS hit me too this week. I am actually surprised that I didn't kill someone. Huh, how about that. After that kind of a week, I would be stuffing my face right now with ice cream and brownies and vodka. Instead I went and had a facial by Marianne . Let me just tell you that I FREAKIN' LOVE MARIANNE . And when I am rich I am not going to wash my face anymore. I am going to go get a facial every morning when I wake up. So the...

I have a raging case of PMS. Not my favorite state of mind to be sure. Which is why I am going out tonight to stuff my face with mozzarella sticks. Or maybe a Junior Beef with mustahd from Liberty Bell in Southie. Or fully loaded Pizzeria Uno potato skins - the kind that's topped with cheese and bacon and dipped in sour cream. And an ice cream sundae. Ugh, my heart muscle is cramping up already....

So Bob the Chef's closed and everyone was in a tizzy because a Dutch fellow was going to come along and reopen the space as a burger joint. Welllllllllll, not so fast. Now there is a sign up that says it's going to be tapas. Hmm. Hopefully not like over at Toro. But actually I don't care what it is. I just want a food and drink place within stumbling distance. NOT Papa Johns, Subway, Good Eats, or Slades. Argh. Can you tell that I am hungry? I have the Hungry Horrors. I am going to Doyles tonight with Miss. Ennairda and I am going to stuff myself stupid with all sorts of cholesterol-elevating, diet-busting, endorphin inducing, fried foods I can get my grubby little mitts on. So there.

Last night I went to Mr. Sushi for uh sushi. Let me just state for the record that I don't like fish. I never have, well I kind of remember my mom making me fried sardines when I was a kid. And I sort of remember eating them. But that's it. Lobster, trout, salmon, mackerel, bluefish, striped bass... blech. However to complicate matters, I will eat fish if it is a nice chunk of cod, fried or broiled. Also I will sometimes eat shrimp, scallops, and smoked salmon. Oh and oysters I will eat anytime. Wait, where was I going with this post... Ah yeah Mr. Sushi. Well, so I am trying to figure out how to like sushi. Mostly I will eat any of the vegetable sushi and some shrimp things. I have been working on overcoming this culinary limitation at places like Douzo , Symphony Sushi , and Ichiro Sushi . All places where I have been able to get terrific vegetable sushi, but also cautiously branch out and try something of the fish. ( Let me tell you, my reaction to fish that tastes too fish...